In Boston, there’s a bar named Drink, which causes me many problems with my habit of verbifying nouns. Where saying “Let’s Grendels!” makes some contextual sense, saying “Let’s Drink!” is often met with a resounding “Where?” While most of my friends around here are into beer, I know a few people who get excited about the idea of mixing various liquors, spices, liquids, and anything else that can help them in their search for the perfect moment of imbibing. They experiment and tweak in that way home scientists border on artists. With wild abandon and no IRBs, they attempt, and reattempt, to create mixtures that are at least interesting in construction and divine in consumption. Or sometimes the other way around. These are the people I know who like Drink.
Drink is owned by the Barbra Lynch Gruppo, who own such establishments as No. 9 Park, Sportello, and Menton, which are all quite fancy. This means something, I suspect that Drink is owned by this particular set of people. I don’t know what that something is, but I’m sure it’s important. Zagat seems to like the eponymous Barbara Lynch, whose favorite ingredients include duck, saffron, and figs. Their spots are classy with a sort of “return to basics” feeling about how they present themselves: they run a butcher shop, they have a bar that pushes for that speakeasy feeling of in the basement with dim lights and bartenders who wear suspenders and do shots with you on the house.
When NS came back from Korea with a new suit, he told us he wasn’t going to try and contrive situations to dress up. Quickly, he recanted and we made a plan to pretend we were classy (in our own ways) and T on over to Drink. (We didn’t even ride our bikes.)
That day, at work, NS compiled the best (or worst) of the yelp reviews. He was playing one of his favorite games, where he organizes the reviews in rating order and than looks at the worst, steeling himself away for an awful night.
(The following are from Yelp. Emphasis courtesy of me.)
Jonathan B from Quincy, MA says
“I can’t believe this place has gotten so many good reviews because this place sucks! I went in last night looking to try a new place. To make a long story short, I had to wait at least 5 minutes for A BEER after ordering it. Oh, and I had to wait on average of 5 minutes before that to even place my order. This didn’t happen once. This happened throughout the night. The place reeks of overpriced pretension. Also, I watched the bartenders make the drinks. They made spectacles of simple vodka tonics and martinis. I watched the bartenders stir drinks for an obnoxiously long time. I will not go back.”
Julie G. from Clearwater, FL says,
“I think they should rename this bar “WTF am I drinking?”.
Great concept crew. I like the whole we can make you a vodka tonic with a little something extra but what if I just want a vodka tonic? None of the booze is labeled and is all in fancy bottles that they probably purchased at pier one. I don’t even think that is bar code. I got a whiskey tonic drink. It was $20 served in a Collins glass. Tasted like a Jack and ginger. I hope it was Johnny Walker Blue in there (but I will never know what the secret sauce is). The bar staff was scattered grabbing orders from multiple customers at once and never focusing on the current customer. I ordered 3 drinks and it took about 10 min to make and 15 to pour the glass of wine. It was pretty confusing. Also, the Bar staff had more room to move than the customers. That annoyed me.
Next time I am staying at Lucky’s.”
Lauren B. from Boston, MA says,
“How ironic is it that I was unable to get a drink at a place named Drink?
This over crowded, hipster, ugly bar was basically the biggest waste of time. I have never once left a bar because I was unable to get a drink. After walking all the way there on Saturday (yes I know it was Saturday blah blah blah, f that I deserve to get a drink) I waited for over 15 minutes to ultimately just walked out. Keep in mind, IT WAS 9 PM!
When I arrived, I was tipsy and excited to try Drink. I had been trying to get on down for awhile now, and the timing was finally right. Unfortunately I was highly disappointed by this bar. Why did you have to let me down Drink? Why?!!??? You seemed so promising.
a.) 15 minutes with out even a “hey ill be right with you!” or some kind of eye contact? We were standing RIGHT in front of the bartender. WTF. I think I was probably making him uncomfortable with my extreme eye contact technique. Gimme a damn cocktail already.
b.) Whats with all the ugly hipsters? Everyone in the place was a d-bag. I thought it would be a swank environment with excellent cocktails and some easy going clientele. Not a stuffy, dark, hipster “look at me and my over sized black rimmed glasses that aren’t even prescription!” kind of joint.
c.) The best part was choosing which bar to go to. Unless you have got a seat, which you will never get unless you are having a 3 pm cocktail with your alcoholic grandmother, you will never get served or even acknowledged by anyone except the couple you are hovering over while you attempt to flag someone down. The bar is set up in a weird formation, which really makes no sense other than to screw over people like me who just want a damn drink.
So I’m sorry Drink. Maybe another time if I need advice on where to buy some hipster glasses or a new Yamaka. So disappointed.
One star because I got to use the men’s room before my long walk to another bar that was willing to make me a drink.”
Photo by Ben Schwartz under the “Meh. Take them. They’re yours.” License. (2011).